Clean House
by Fallen Ark Angel
Summary: In which Mirajane asks Laxus to do one little thing around the house only for him to find out that Bickslow and Lisanna have taken to routine breaking and entering, Ever and Elfman are on the outs again, and Freed has something to remind him of, but he just can't quite remember it at the moment.


Mirajane got up before dawn.

Every day.

So that she could arrive at the hall also before dawn and have the place ready for opening at the crack of it.

She was very committed to this. And Laxus respected it.

He just wasn't getting up to join her in this effort.

"Still sleeping?" he heard the woman whisper in his ear one morning when the sky had hardly found any light at all though she was already dressed for the day. "Dragon?"

Always.

"Well, I'll see you tonight then, huh? When I get home?"

He felt the kiss to his head and let out a slight grunt, to let her know that he heard her. Which was a bad call as, of course, it caused Mirajane to giggle.

"Oh, so you are up?"

Another grunt.

"I'm not going to bother you," she assured the man. "I just need you to remember to take out the trash today, alright? After all the trash has been cleaned up. Like, clean out the fridge and cupboard and all that stuff type of clean. Please? Dragon?"

Peeking one eye open, he only growled out, "For you? Sure."

And that got her to leave the house all happy and giddy and man, he must be going soft, because he felt good when he got up, later in the day, from making his demon so happy.

Which is why, after a breakfast of protein mix and a fried egg, Laxus set out on his new workout regimen. He knew the trash truck wouldn't come until four that afternoon, so he figured Mira wouldn't mind if he went for his jog before getting started on the cleanup process.

Besides, the demon loved his body. Knew what went into keeping his body as tight and sculptured as it was.

She appreciated his training.

Honest.

Anyhow, there Laxus was, all decked out in his snazzy workout gear that the demon had gotten him for his last birthday when there was a loud knocking at their front door. He made a bit of a face in the mirror that he certainly wasn't admiring himself in (or maybe he was; it was his home, he could do as he pleased) before turning to go answer the door.

"What?" he growled as he swung it open to find Lisanna standing on the other side. "Your sister isn't-"

"Is she here?"

"No. That's what I was trying to say. She's not-"

"Good." And the youngest Strauss was shoving past him then and into his home. "I need to hide."

"What? Lisanna-"

"Laxus, it's important."

"I guarantee you that, whatever it is, it's certainly not."

"Close the door," she demanded, even though no one demanded the great Laxus Dreyar. Unless their name was Migraine Strauss. As, with a sigh, he shut it, he decided that Lisanna Strauss would work as well. "And come help you."

"Help you what?" he complained as he followed after her. She was rushing down the hallway and into the guest bedroom. "Lisanna, what's going on?"

"I just need you to help me up on this shelf here, see? At the top of the closet? Then put some boxes in front of me and, you know, hide me."

"Lisanna, what the fuck-"

"Laxus, are you my brother or not?"

"I'm not your anything!"

But she was busy taking things off the guest bedroom closest shelf, with very little regard to what it was she was tossing where. As Laxus stewed behind her, she only continued.

"I have to hide, okay?" She was clambering up there then and Laxus just hoped she was as light as she appeared. He really didn't feel like explaining a damaged shelf to his girlfriend. "It's like I said before. Important."

"Yeah, well, whatever." Still, Laxus moved to stack some stuff around her as Lisanna made herself as flat as possible against the wall of the closet, there on that tiny shelf. It was so ridiculous that, if he were any other man, Laxus might have laughed. But he wasn't any other man. He was him. So he kept his feelings to himself. "I'm going for a run, so you just clean up whatever you-"

"What? No. Laxus, you can't leave."

"Why can't I leave?"

"You have to be here to intercept him."

"To intercept who?"

"Bickslow," she said loudly from behind the boxes and things that were now obscuring their view of one another. "Who else?"

"If I'm gone, Lisanna, he won't be able to get into the house."

"You're not serious, right?"

"What?"

And she literally pushed some of the boxes around her face back down to the ground where it sounded like some glass or something broke inside of one of them. As he glared at her for that, she only looked dead in his eyes and said, "You really think that we can't get into your house? Whenever we want?"

"What? Why would you?'

"For snacks, for one. Or, like right now, for our epic hide-and-seek tournaments. Oh, and when we want to borrow your movie lacrima, but, you know, know that you'll say no, so we just come over and-"

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Mirajane gave us a key."

"She what?"

"She understands us and our needs." Then, glancing down at the floor of the closet, she said, "Now, can you put those boxes back up here or- Oh! That has to be him! Go answer the door and make him go away."

Oh, Laxus would be answering a lot more than just the door. He would be answering his need to smash something really hard with his fist. If Bickslow and Lisanna wanted to hide from the world, then he, at least, was in luck; his face would be unrecognizable soon enough.

But when he threw open his front door to bark the head right off of the stupid seith, he found that he wasn't the one behind it at all. Rather, it was someone he equally wanted nothing to do with at the moment.

"Evergreen?"

"Is your girlfriend here?"

"No! She-"

"Good. Because I need to discuss some things with you. In private."

"Yeah, well, it's gonna have to- Don't just shove your way in here! What's wrong with you?"

"I," Evergreen told him as she headed right over to his couch and sat down because why the fuck not, "cannot deal with your girlfriend's stupid little sister any longer. Did you know that she and Bickslow have been breaking into people's apartments?"

"Actually, yeah, I did."

"And you didn't do anything to stop it? Honestly, Laxus, I-"

Growling then, he stalked over to the woman. To her, he said, "Who the fuck do you think that you are, Evergreen? Huh? Why would you come in here and-"

"Did you also know that your stupid girlfriend-"

"Watch yourself."

"-told her stupid brother that he shouldn't be with someone who routinely says that they don't want to be with him. Can you believe that?"

"I believe in that, at least, yeah."

"And then Elfman, he fucking broke up with me again because of that stupid shit and I'm so tired of Strausses. I hate them. I hate all of them."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because, Laxus, you're the only one who's not a Strauss that they would listen to," she reasoned. "Or at least the only person I can go to that they would."

"What do you want me to do? This all sounds like personal shit that you need to figure out. Not-"

"Bickslow and Lisanna are just roaming around, breaking into apartments, and you don't think that you should put a stop to it?"

"How do you know this? Huh?" he asked then. "How do you know that they sneak into apartments?"

"Because I caught them! But they ran off." Shaking her head a bit, Evergreen said, "Honestly, I'm not even too mad about that. It's Mirajane."

"Don't say her name like that."

"Like what?"

"Like it's some sort of detestable being."

"You said it, not me."

"Evergreen-"

"What if Elfman went around telling Mirajane to break up with you? Huh?" Shockingly, the woman wasn't backing down to him for once. Laxus was not a fan of this new development. "What if it's all he ever told her? How would you feel about him, Laxus?"

Elfman does her that. All the time. And it doesn't affect anything between me and Mira because we're actually something called secure. I know it's a bit shocking to you and Elfman, but most couples don't feel the need to breakup and get back together constantly. Even when they are fighting. Not healthy ones, at least."

He had her there so Ever only sulked. Until, suddenly, there was once more another loud knocking at the front door.

"Laxus!" came the gruff call. "Are you home? Big sis?"

As the slayer's face naturally fell into a deep scowl at the sound of his girlfriend's idiotic brother pounding away at the door.

Evergreen, however, had a different reaction.

"Laxus, you have to make him go away," she insisted, bolting up then. "I can't see him."

"Then leave out the back. Or grow the fuck up. Pick one. Pick none. But I'm not- Hey! Where are you going?"

"To hide! You take care of him, okay?"

"Ever, you get back here. Ever!"

But she disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom and ugh.

Laxus hated life.

Well, no, actually he didn't. He just hated a good ninety percent of those who made up his life. That was all.

And in that moment, Evergreen fell into the ninety. Elfman, by comparison, fell into it constantly.

"What," the slayer growled as he swung open the front door, "do you want, Elfboy?"

"Is my sister home?"

"She's at the hall. Now-"

"Good."

"Good? And hey! What is with you people and thinking that you can just barge into- Elfman!"

"I have to talk to you."

"Fucking hell, what is wrong with you? All of you? Do you think that I'm someone who is honestly interested in all your stupid shit? Because I'm not. I'm fucking not. I don't care what lies Mirajane filled all of your heads with, but I am a damn dragon. I hate every single one of you. I-"

"I have to talk to you. Man to man.' Apparently, listening wasn't in store, however, for the big oaf as he took a seat on the couch. Dropping his head into his meaty hands, he shook it a bit as he said, "I just don't know what to do anymore! My head is so filled with lies and misunderstanding. Do I love Evergreen? Does she love me? Does it matter? Does anything matter? Am I a man or not? OF course I am! Of course she does! Of course I do! Of course it does! But what if it doesn't? What if she doesn't? What if I don't? What if I'm not? What then, Laxus? What then?"

Growling deeply, Laxus questioned, "Do you not have friends? Elfman? That might actually give a shit about this crap?"

"I have sisters."

"That's...so sad. I'm so sad for you. Don't get me wrong, I wish you'd get the fuck out, but I don't think I've ever heard anything worse than what you just said."

"They're all I need! And I have plenty of friends."

"Then why didn't you go to any of them then? Eh?"

"Because..." Elfman let out a long huff of a breath before he lifted his head to look at the glaring slayer. "Because none of them would understand this like you. You have insider knowledge! Who knows me and Evergreen better than you?"

"Literally anyone, I'd imagine."

"I wouldn't. You've been here since the beginning, Laxus."

"I've been against this since the beginning, sure."

"And you know all about Evergreen. And all about me. And you care about us both, so any of your opinions come from a place of even ground."

"I what? Who told you that? Who said any of that? But especially that I care about you? Because they're wrong, Elfman. They're so wrong-"

"I mean, you and Mirajane being so close to marriage and all-"

"Why does she tell people this? When it's not true?"

"-me and you," the other man said as his eyes met the slayers, "we're practically brothers, huh?"

That caused the man some hesitance and Laxus only stared at him with a heavy frown before snorting and looking off. Then he got angry with himself and huffed as he looked the other way. Finally, he settled on just glaring at the ground as he thought of nothing.

Stupid Elfman.

Before either of the men could touch on this once more, however, there was a new loud knocking at the door because why the fuck not.

"Laxus! Do come to the door, please, should you be home. I have a very pressing matter to discuss with you."

"Freed!" Elfman, for some reason, was most bothered by this. "Oh, no, Laxus, I can't be seen by him."

"What? Why?"

"I have to hide."

"What? No. Fucking no. What is wrong with you people? And why the shit are you and Freed on the outs anyways? Elf- Arg!"

Laxus hated them. Elfman in particular as he scurried off down the hall to find his own place to hide. Given the sound of the closing door, he knew he'd decided upon he and Mirajane's bedroom. Great. Because that's someone he wanted in there. Ugh.

"Freed," Laxus began as he opened the door. "I am so glad that you're here."

"I- Wait, honestly?" The rune mage perked right up. "Well, I was only coming to inform you of-"

"I need your help."

"And I will gladly assist. But first, I must inform you-"

"You are going to get all of these idiots out of my home." Leading the man in, Laxus shut the door behind him. "So get to it."

Freed blinked a bit, glanced around the clearly empty living room, and then frowned at his idol.

"Laxus," he asked slowly. "Have you been...sleeping adequately?"

"What?"

"It is merely a questions."

"There are people here, Freed, and I want you to get them out."

"Have you begun drinking in the afternoon again? I thought you were past that."

As he took to glaring at the other man though, Laxus, once more, heard a noise. But this time it wasn't coming from the front door. No, rather, it was the sound of someone struggling with pushing up a window, in the kitchen, and then tumbling right through it with a loud clatter as they knocked things all about while doing so.

Laxus immediately knew that finally, after the past hour or so of dealing with these idiots, the group was complete. The final idiot had joined them.

"Bickslow!" he growled as he stormed off immediately to find the seith crumpled on the floor as his dolls floated about. In his attempt to enter the house sneakily, as to trip up Lisanna no doubt, he'd decided to climb through a window. The window above the sink. The too small window above the sink. With little to no landing space after wiggling his slender and lanky frame through the opening, he kind of just tumbled to a heap. While Freed looked on in horror at his appearance in the kitchen, Laxus only came to glare over him.

"What-" Freed tried, but Laxus had had enough, it seemed, and instead too to practically screaming as he spoke to the seith.

"You idiots! Complete idiots! All of you. What is wrong with you? This is my fucking house, not your playground. I'm not your playmate. I'm hardly even any of your friends! All of you, come out now! Elfman, Lisanna, Ever. Everyone come in here now. Because I have more than a few things to tell all of you."

Bickslow, who'd more than injured himself, only sat up slowly as he rubbed at his head. Still, he managed to say, "So Lissy is here!"

"No!" came the call from somewhere deeper in the house. "I'm not!"

"Lisanna!" And the dolls were taking off then, to go find her. Bickslow grumbled after his babies, but it was no use. If anyone was good at seeking the women out, it was his babies.

"Well, nice going, Laxus." Evergreen, at least, listened. Well, kind of. She came into the kitchen anyways. "I told you to get rid of Elfman."

"Look, you little repugnant asshat. You're going to sit down and-"

""Elfman is here?" Freed went rigide then as Evergreen, gosh she'd grown a spine, was glaring right back at Laxus over his apparent mistrust.

She wasn't the only one.

"Some big brother you are, Laxus." Lisanna was coming into the room then, much to the enjoyment of Bickslow who immediately shoved up to his feet. "Now I lose! Are you happy?"

"Happy? I haven't been happy since you stupid posers fucking-"

"Lisanna's right!" And Elfman was in there too then to round out the bunch. Laxus prayed for strength, silently, but not of power, but rather restraint. If it wasn't for the fact that it would only be a bigger headache if he did it, Laxus might have struck them all down with a powerful dose of lightning, right then and there. "Some brother you are, Laxus. Do you ever consider anyone, but yourself?"

And that was it.

Laxus, though he wished fervently for it to be true, was not in any way above the simplicity of human emotion. And a person can only take so much, after all. He wasn't immune to it. And while anger was one of his main functions, he liked to think that he'd long conquered the overwhelming affects it could have on him.

He hadn't.

Rather, it just all built up over a period of time and, in that moment, he'd had enough. He'd fucking had enough.

"Is there something wrong with you people?" And he growled it too as he glared at all of them, even poor innocent Freed (the only one to actually be invited in), as the irritable Laxus flared back up once more. "Is there? Why the fuck do you need me constantly? Huh? I'm not your damn fathers. Even your own damn fathers didn't want you, most of you! But you expect me to clean up all your shit, all the time. You expect me to listen to you whine and moan and bitch and what? What? Huh? You think that we're friends? Do you? Do all of you? I'm not your brother, Lisanna, Elfman. I'm not your little best friend that you can gossip with and talk about all your problems, Evergreen. I'm not… Bickslow, who the fuck breaks into people's apartments? Huh? What the fuck is that about? Sort your own issues out. All of you. Because I have far too much on my plate to worry about it!"

As he stood there, huffing and puffing, the boiling over ceased and, while he agreed with the sentiment that had escaped, not all that he said had been what he'd have wished.

They were all silent and Lisanna even looked weepy and oh gosh, was he really that much of an old miser? He sure hoped not.

"We have others friends," Evergreen retorted though her eyes couldn't meet his. "We don't need you, you know."

"Yeah, boss! I have plenty of friend's apartment that I could break into if I wanted!" Bickslow could meet his eyes, maybe, but only from behind his visor. "I just… Lissy was in this one!"

"And I don't a father, Laxus." Lisanna sniffled a bit as she looked away from him. "And mine didn't leave me willingly. Unlike you. So I think maybe you shouldn't say stuff like that. You jerk. And I have a brother too, so there. You're the one that's a friendless loser, not me!"

"Not any of us!" Elfman wasn't dying on the ship either, it seemed. "How can you tell me what to do anyways? In my relationship? My sister doesn't even really like you that much. So there. And don't go asking her about it! Just take my word."

Freed, with a long sigh, looked up at Laxus before saying, "Perhaps an apology is in order."

"Yeah, from fucking them." The slayer was not backing down. "You guys always do this. You always make me seem like the bad guy. But Mira's not around to enforce me into doing shit I don't believe in. You are ungrateful shits. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said about your… But it's true. You all want me to be this big, brood force in your lives that help guide you a certain way, but guess the fuck what? I don't know what you're supposed to do in your lives! I'm not even interested in them! You got the wrong person of the house. I can't be your brother, I can't be your father. And I damn sure can't be the person that you break into the house of when you're...whatever the fuck you two are doing, Lisanna and Bickslow. I'm serious. I'm pissed about that one."

"It's called being a friend, Laxus," Ever told him simply and with a shake of her head. "And you're at the very least that. To some more than others. And considering that I am no longer talking to any Strausses, I expect you to follow suit."

"What?" Elfman growled. "Laxus, see what I deal with? She's irrational and unstable!"

"Excuse, Elfman?"

"You're excused, Evergreen!"

"I think," Lisanna intervened then, "that Bickslow and I should be able to leave now. Because we only did what you all assumed we'd do anyways."

"Break into people's homes? No, Lisanna," the slayer told her with a frown. "No one in this room ever expected the two of you to do that shit."

"Oi, boss, it ain't so bad. And look! Elfman and Evergreen, they're the ones that are causing you all the pain," the seith insisted as he took to nodding his head. "Lissy and I, we've just been bored a bit, recently, is all. Would you rather we fuck like rabbits? Constantly? To starve off the boredom? And then run out of protection? And then what, Laxus? Huh? You think we should keep going? Have a kid? Then you'll really hate us because where do you think that baby's going?"

"It's been my dream since being a young girl," Lisanna agreed. "To have a kid and dump it on Mirajane."

"And the kid's Uncle Laxus!"

Suddenly, being a brother didn't sound too bad. Not when posed with the idea that Bickslow and Lisanna had just put into his head.

"What did the two of you just say?" Elfman was able to pause his fight with Evergreen, it seemed, as he took to glaring at Bickslow. "Because-"

"It's our plan," the seith retorted simply. "Think of your own."

Evergreen looked striken at the suggestion.

Children.

"Gross," she said and, of course, this was her mistake.

"Grosser," Bickslow retorted.

"Grossest," Lisanna finished and gosh, Laxus was finished.

He had been since Lisanna arrived, but now he was quickly approaching another meltdown.

Where was the demon when you needed her?

"Would you brats just shut up?" Laxus was stomping off then, to the living room. "Ever! Elfman!"

And for a second, all parties were confused. Was he...summoning them? Like naughty school children?

Well, if that were the case, Lisanna and Bickslow were definitely the kind to ditch out on class because the second Evergreen and Elfman turned to head to the other room, they were rushing to the backdoor, as for an escape. But if the headmaster was busy, that did not mean his senior master wasn't right there to pick up the slack.

"Where are the two of you getting off to?" Freed questioned them. "What's this then, Bickslow, about breaking into apartments? I am apparently out of the loop."

Oh, he blissfully and frequently was.

Laxus could only imagine that sort of life.

Must be glorious.

Out in the living room, the slayer was presented with a conundrum. One that had appeared many times over the years. Elfman and Evergreen clearly wanted to be together. In theory, this should be enough for them to try and be. However, they frequently found that, once together, commitment was hard and the realization that others might find their attraction to one another odd only complicated the self-conscious pair's fears.

Elfman had an imagine to uphold, of being a man, and men didn't let women toy them around.

Did they?

And Evergreen was the most insecure woman most anyone knew and it didn't matter how beautiful others told her that she was or she perceived herself as being, she always felt as if it were not enough. Someone in quest to be so beautiful couldn't be tied down by someone objectively less?

Could they?

Who knew. For the most part, Laxus didn't give a shit. Yes, on some level he did care about the pair, both together and separately, and wanted the best for them (sort of). Not to mention he was very much so in love with Mirajane and a falling out between Ever and Elfman might cause issues on that. But…

They weren't happy together near enough to justify being together. They both seemed so miserable. Even when they were at peace with one another, it was tentative and typically bickering was abound. It wasn't the life that Laxus would wish on anyone.

But…

Things were just complicated, constantly, with the both of them. And though they seemed to depressive to be around one another and the reasons to keep them together might fall a bit shallow at times, they really seemed lost without one another in those days. Laxus felt that, at least. Sometimes he and Mirajane weren't on the best of terms, but he'd rather be with her and be put out than without her and be lonely.

Sometimes you just stay in a shitty situation because the situation you'd be in otherwise stank worse. There wasn't much you could do, honestly, other than grin and bear it.

And stop trying to force your sadness and discontent onto others…

In closing, as the pair sat on the complete opposite sides of the couch while Laxus stood before them, he finished with, "Be together. Don't be together. That's between the two of you. If you feel like certain people feel a certain way about your relationship, then fuck 'em. Mira can't tell you what to do with your lives. I can't tell you what to do with your life. But I can tell you that I don't really care about your lives. So figure your own shit out, alright? It really, overall, doesn't matter to any of us what you choose to do. Just...be nicer to one another."

Evergreen rolled her eyes heavily and Elfman sobbed over the idea of Laxus caring so deeply for the two of them (though he had no idea where the man would have gotten that kind of idea from) while Laxus only headed back to the kitchen to find Bickslow and Lisanna being tortured, it seemed, by Freed. Lisanna had her head pressed into the table and was moaning while Bickslow leaned back in his chair, head tilted over the back and tongue hanging from his mouth as he seemed to be questioning every life decision that had led him up to that point.

"-might not understand the gravity of such offenses, but believe me when I say that consequences will eventually be had. Above all, it gives the rest of us little reason to continue having the already slight amount of trust that we put in you. Your judgment has been so flawed, as of late, Bickslow, because you are so intent on proving yourself to Lisanna. Which in turn forces her to try and keep pace with you. Stop it. Enough. Are you truly enjoying yourselves? There is no way that-"

"Freed." Laxus was coming into the room then, cutting the other man off. "Not to interrupt, but they're not kids, you know."

"Oi!" That got Bickslow to slam his chair back down on all fours. "That's right, boss!"

"Yeah," Lisanna agreed, lifting her head. "It is."

"But Laxus," the rune mage tried. "I do not-"

"They're grown adults," Laxus went on as he came closer. "They can make choices for themselves. They don't need you lecturing them or trying ot change their behaviors. You're not the boss of them."

Bickslow was quick to nod. "That's right boss! I don't got a boss!"

"I do whatever I want," Lisanna added.

"Which is why," Laxus went on, "the next time that I catch the two of them in my apartment, I am going to restrain them, which is my legal right, and then contact the proper authorities. And I suggest you, Ever, and Elfman all do the same."

"Err...what? Boss?" Bickslow scratched at the bit of cheek beneath his visor. "I'm not following."

"This is entrapment," Lisanna complained. "It will never hold up in court!"

"I'm one of the most powerful mages in the most powerful guild in Fiore." Laxus gave them one of his darkest looks, one that Lisanna had never seen and Bickslow had never had turned on him. "The court will say whatever I want the court to say."

"Corruption, eh?" Bickslow huffed a bit as Lisanna took to folding her arms over her chest with a glare. "This is why we don't play with the others, Lissy. They all cheat!"

"Yeah. I'm telling my sister about this," she was quick to retort. "She will not be pleased, Laxus."

"Tell her from a cell, brat. In fact, Freed, could you go summon the proper authorities?"

"We're leavin', we're leavin'." Shoving up, Bickslow held his head high as he said, "We'll take our hide-and-seek game elsewhere!"

"Yeah!" Lisanna was quick to follow. "And we'll have a way better time without cheaters."

They, thankfully, used the door that time and, just like that, the biggest headache of the day was out of Laxus' life.

"You truly are a miracle worker, Laxus," Freed complimented as the man only snorted.

"Yeah, yeah. Now scram. And take Evergreen with ya. Elfman too. I have a lot of important things to do today."

"Of course, Laxus." Still, after getting to his feet Freed paused a bit from leaving the living room, waiting just long enough for Laxus to sigh and question him.

"What?" he asked with a frown. "Freed?"

"I am not too fond of Elfman as things stand currently."

"Why's that?"

Freed looked to his feet before stating, "Recently we had a gentleman's bet, up at the bar, about a game of pool and, upon being unable to meet his blance, he-"

"Freed, please don't be one of the children today."

"He frequently speaks of being a man, but apparently we both have two very different definitions of what-"

"Freed, seriously, don't."

"It is more than just that, Laxus. It is his entire attitude of late. He has become more and more obnoxious and-"

"When did the two of you even start hanging around one another anyways? So much?" the slayer complained. "Have I neglected you that much?"

It was then that Freed looked confused as he asked, "Surely you did not mean what you said before. You do consider yourself...friends with everyone in the group. Don't you?"

"I mean…."

"The idea of me spending time with the Strauss siblings should not be so shocking to you then, I would think."

You would think. But it still was.

Just how close had they all become over the past few years? That Freed and Elfman, apparently, hang around one another alone?

What a terrible thought to have.

Still, Laxus marched Freed off to the living room where, rather tersely, Elfman agreed to make it up to the man, the falling out they'd had, and that he'd be going on a job soon and would be abel to do so. Evergreen, however, seemed mostly cool towards all the men and, as Freed, Ever, and Elfman set off, she honeslty planned to say nothing to any of them.

But something was gnawing at her. And, to Freed, she brought it up then.

"Lisanna and Bickslow were...playing, Elfman came over to vent, and so did I, to Laxus," she said slowly as she looked to her teammate. "But why did you come over to see Laxus? Freed? Just to visit?"

The man blinked then before, glancing at the woman, he said, "I… Oh! It was Mirajane. Up at the hall, she asked me to remind Laxus of something. :She made it sound really important."

"Did you not?"

"No, but Laxus mentioned, before we left, that he had something important to do." Shaking his head a bit, Freed said, "If I go and interrupt him as he does it, he will no doubt get irritated with me. Laxus needs no reminder, after all."

Oh, but Laxus did need a reminder. Of a lot of things. In that moment though, he needed to be reminded of the request Mirajane had made, about taking out the trash and cleaning out the fridge and all that jazz. The important thing Laxus wanted to get back to was, simply, his workout. And after that was all finished with, Laxus only returned home to shower before settling in on the couch with a book and a beer.

He was actually a bit antsy, by the time Mirajane arrived home, because he'd been waiting to hear her plans for dinner and, whether it was go out or eat in, he wanted to do it right then.

So when she came through the door, he was glad to find she wasn't too tired and she even was carrying a few sacks with her, full of things to make him a special dinner, she said.

"Special, huh?" he questioned as he greeted her at the door, the woman grinning brightly up at him. "What for?"

"I heard about how good you were to Elfman and Lisanna today."

"Good to them?"

"Well, you didn't hurt them, and that's what's important."

Grinning, Laxus let her pass to head into the kitchen. Following, he said, "Yeah, well, you know me. Your dragon. Always so great. Special. Deserving of special things being done for him. I-"

"Laxus," Mirajane cut him off as, once in the kitchen, she was dismayed to see the trash still piled in the can and, after setting the sacks in her hand down, she rushed to check the firdge. "Did you not take out the trash?"

Laxus blinked a bit before making a face and rubbing at the back of his neck. "W-Well, I was busy."

"Busy," she repeated with a frown.

"Yeah. I had to help your siblings out. And Bickslow. Ever. Freed was kind of bratty too today-"

"I asked you to do one thing, Laxus. Literally one thing,. What-"

"Mirajane, I forgot."

"You forgot."

"Stop repeating me."

"Laxus, if you don't want to contribute to the household, fine. Say that. But don't tell me that you're going to do things-"

"I'm sorry, Mira."

"Are you? Becuase you sure are laughing."

"I'm not laughing."

"Laxus-"

"I'm not."

"One thing. I don't ask you to clean up after yourself, to make dinner, to even tell me when you will and wont be home. But I ask you to make sure some trash gets taken out-"

"Why are you stressing me about this? Just make my food and-"

"Excuse me?"

Uh-oh. Shit. Letting out a long breath, Laxus only said, "If you're just going to complain at me-"

"When you don't do anything I ask? When all I ever do is what you ask?"

"-then I'm just going to go out and get something to eat. I don't have to listen to this."

"Then don't, Laxus. Go."

"I am!"

And he was.

Right over to Freed's apartment where, finding the man not home and a storm seemed to be setting in, Laxus just used the key he had to let himself in and go take a seat on the couch to wait. He was in the middle of doing that when his dragon hearing let him hear the approaching chatter on the other side of the front door and he wasn't surprised when he saw Freed enter with guests. He was just a bit surprised by who those guests were.

"Laxus?" Freed was surprised, of course, to find him there, and a bit frazzled. "What are- How did you get in? Has something happened?"

Without letting the man answer, Bickslow came into the apartment next and only whistled, "Looks like a clear case of breaking and entering to me. What about you? Lissy?"

"I think," she said as she came in as well, "that I should call the proper authorities."

"Laxus, what are you doing here?" Evergreen asked as she came in, though the man only continued to glare and sulk just from the sight of Bickslow and Lisanna in good spirits. "Are you alright?"

"Well… You idiots caused me to forget that Mirajane wanted me to take out the trash and clean up around the place and now she's all pissed at me and-"

"You wanna talk to me, your practical brother, about your relationship?" Elfman, the final one to come in, seemed in the best mood. "Is that it? Well say no more! We can talk all about-"

"I thought that talking to the others about your feeling was annoying?" Ever asked in a tight way. She wasn't over the afternoon, apparently. Clearly. "Huh?"

Laxus, stewing now, only told them, "I'm here for Freed, you dolts. So if the rest of you would kindly fuck off-"

"No way." Lisanna came to sit on one side of him on the couch and, for some stupid reason that he would never understand, Bickslow sat on the other. "We were invited here. We just don't break into people's homes without their permission."

"Oi, boss, gonna use your privileges to get out of that one?"

Was this hell? Just desserts? Laxus wasn't too sure. What he was sure about, however, was that he hated all of them. Just as much as he had that afternoon.

"Freed," he finally said, looking to the man who only shook his head from afar. "Can we speak? Alone?"

"W-Well, I invited them over to play cards-"

"You what?" Laxus made an even darker face. To Elfman and Evergreen, he questioned, "I thought you two weren't even dating anymore?"

"That was then," Ever told him simply. "This is now."

"It was less than six hours ago!"

"You sound pressed, Lax." Lisanna hummed softly. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"With you clowns? No. I don't."

"You clearly do, boss," Bickslow kept up. "What'd you screw up? With Mrs. Boss? You can talk to us about it. We won't tell anyone one. Other than, you know, Mrs. Boss, probably. But short of that, no one."

Laxus only shut his eyes and prayed that when he opened them again, they would all be gone. But they weren't drunken delusions. He was sober and they were his friends.

Two things he wished wasn't true, but apparently, was.

Freed, however, was staying very quiet then. It could be misconstrued as him not wanting to be involved in the verbal sparing that the others were partaking in, but it was actually something much different. Rather, Freed felt as if it was his fault for not reminding the man of his duty and, thus, causing the rift between Mirajane and Laxus.

This wasn't true, of course, as it was not the lack of helping that truly put a damper on Mirajane and Laxus' night, but rather the man's attitude towards being critiqued.

Like with most things, it had been poor.

"Perhaps we should delay cards and drinks," Freed told the others finally. "For another night. Laxus clearly-"

"Boss needs us to distract him from his painful relationship, Freed," Bickslow said with a shake of his head. "Who else can he tell it all about to? We're his closest allies!"

"Would you stop," Evergreen complained as she headed off to the kitchen to search out some liqour of some sort, "yelling?"

Never.

He felt better, anyways, Laxus did as he sat around with the others. It took his mind of Mirajane, in some weird way, as he slowly fell back into the position of power. That was what was off with him and the demon, at times. Laxus felt most comfortable in power and, though sometimes he could stand the idea of sharing it with his girlfriend, when she was over him, well, he kind of just fell apart.

Around the current horde of morons though, he was definitely the top tier and though, at first their arrival had thrown him even further into a loop, he was back on the mountaintop once more. They all looked up to him and rather it was in a fatherly, brotherly, and even just a friendly way, it was still him being above the others.

That was all that mattered.

And when the night wore on to the point that Lisanna and Bickslow were kicked out for bad behavior and Ever and Elfman, once more, got into a fight and departed, Laxus found himself hanging around with Freed a bit longer.

Not to help him clean up.

Just to supervise.

"Laxus," he said as the man sat around, debating whether or not it was safe to go back home yet. "There is something I wish to speak to you about."

"Yeah?" The man was actually looking at his watch then, debating. "What's that?"

"I… I meant to remind you of it, the taking out of the trash, but I got distracted by the others. Forgive-"

"Yeah, me too," Laxus said with a sigh, not even letting the other man finish, apparently not picking up on the attempt to apologize. Freed there, cleaning off the coffee table of Bickslow's cigarette butts and all of their beer cans. "It's all consuming, you know? The second they fucking come around, all of them, it seems like it's just to fuck up my life. To fuck up my day. I think that they do it on purpose, honestly. Like, how can we fuck with Laxus today? Oh, I know. Let's bog his head down with our shit so he forgets his own shit and then he won't remember the things that he actually has to do for the day. He'll just sit around and give us attention. They're like having...pets or kids or something."

Freed, honestly, did not feel this way. He had forgotten simply because there was so much going on. He saw the others as neither a burden nor a requirement. He could come and go as he pleased. And he did. Recently, Bickslow seemed to take less jobs and Evergreen more took hers with Elfman. Which was fine. It was better for him, even. He was beginning to grow as a mage, he felt, in the solitude and whenever he wanted the others, they were almost always around.

Laxus, clearly, didn't have the same relationship in the group as him, however.

When the slayer arrived home, it was to find the place silent and a plate of food awaiting him on the table. While Laxus reheated it, he went to peek into the bedroom where he found Mirajane snoozing, a soft snore coming from her lips. He sure hoped that she wasn't getting a cold or something.

He let her sleep though, going back to check on his food. As he ate in the darkness, he listened to the storm that was rearing up again and considered going back out, hoping for some lightning to catch. In fact, he was out on the back porch, watching for the electricity he felt in the air to turn to something more, when he heard her soft footsteps from behind him and, eventually, the backdoor opening.

"Dragon?"

"Go back to bed. I'm just catching lightning."

That didn't make her giggle, like the statement usually would, but she did come out there to stand with him. She was in next to nothing and barefoot and it was far too damp and cold out there for that. Laxus turned to tell her to go in, but he felt it then, it was near, and he popped up from the porch step and ran straight into their yard, head snapped back and bam! There was a loud crack of lightning and Laxus sucked it all in, the feeling of the electricity immediately coursing through his body.

After he full swallowed, he only turned to look back at Mirajane, there in her nightclothes, her bright blue eyes shining in the night. He felt so much better, so very great, just from the adreheline rush he'd gotten.

He wasn't going to be able to sleep that night.

Not when he was so electrified.

"Why are you doing this?" Mira called out to him softly into the night. "Are you going somewhere?"

"No," he said simply while coming back over to her. "I'm not."

And he wasn't. He did send her back to bed though as he stayed out there, catch two more strikes before going back inside.

Then he got to work.

Mirajane got up at the same time as she always did, when the sky was hardly losing it's darkest shades, only to find that her boyfriend hadn't gone to bed once. Concerned that he had gone out, she dismissed then as she still felt his immense magical presence and feared he'd though they were still fighting and gone off to sleep in the guest bedroom.

This wasn't the case.

She did however find him in the kitchen, down on his knees, head shoved into the oven.

"Oh, Laxus, no! I'm not that angry! Please, don't-"

"Woman, wha- Ow!" And in his shock, he'd banged his head on the top of the oven. Pulling it out then, he glared at her while rubbing at the top of his head. "What is your problem, Mira?"

"I thought… I thought that you were trying to...gas yourself."

"What? Are you psychotic? Over you? You think you're that great? I'm the one in this relationship that is that great that someone would do that over. Not you. Ha. Ha!"

Mira's concern was fleeing very quickly. Making a face, she only said, "Well, what were you doing then, Laxus?"

"I'm fucking scrubbing out the stove." He held up the scrub pad he had in one hand. "You know, the electric one? That we have? That I couldn't gas myself with if I tried?"

Blushing, Mirajane finally took to looking around and took not of not the smell of gas in the air, but rather cleaning products.

"Laxus, have you been up all night...cleaning?"

"It's my house, isn't it?" he complained as, once more, he shoved his head in the oven. "So what if I want to pull an all nighter? And pull my weight around here? I live here, don't I? Sheesh, you'd think that I never- Mirajane! Cut it out!"

"No," she countered as she launched herself at him, down there on the ground, trying to fit her head into the oven as well. "I love you, Laxus."

"Yeah, yeah, but you're hurting me right now, so cut it out! Seriously, Mira!"

"You're just the best boyfriend ever."

"Hey and that's another thing. Boyfriend. That's the only thing I am. Stop telling your siblings and whoever else you talk to that we're getting married. I haven't asked you nothing close to that. So cut it out. Mira-"

"I have to go get ready for work, but just know that after work I'm going to go out and buy more stuff and make you an even better dinner. What do you want? No. I'm making you your favorite. Okay? So make sure you're home, alright?"

"Alright, alright, just let me go."

She complied with this request, but only because she truly did have to begin getting ready for work. Still, she did beam a bit down at him, once she was standing upright once more, before saying, "Thank you, Laxus."

"You don't thank someone for doing this job around the house."

"Then thank you for thinking of me."

"Mira-"

"I'm leaving," she assured him. "But I do love you, dragon."

"Yeah," he told her, voice deafened a bit there in the oven. "I love you too."

As Mirajane headed to work before dawn, Laxus eventually headed to bed. And when he awoke some time after noon, he was glad to find the house was empty and hadn't been broken into. Mostly though, he was just glad to see all his hard work in the kitchen had paid off and, making himself a slice of toast, he took a seat at the table and considered his day.

It could be calm, he felt, and he might do a light workout. Something that wasn't too intense. Then he had to get ready for his home date night with Mirajane. Even, oh, he'd go get them a new movie for the lacrima.

Mirajane sure would like that.

But he wasn't too good at picking out those sorts of movies that the woman would want. Romance and cheesy shit. He was much more a horro kinda guy. But he wanted to do something for Mirajane, not himself.

Now Lisanna, she could help him figure something nice out for the woman.

But that would mean that he'd have to bring Bickslow no doubt…

As he weighed the pros and cons of those sorta things, he realized that when he was cleaning, he'd found that they'd neglected to replace the wine they kept around for such things. He'd have to go out and buy some more.

And there was only one person that he knew who could help him pick out the best wine.

Ever...who would maybe bring around Elfman.

And that that point he had to ask Freed to go along as well because he'd feel left out if he didn't.

Of course, Laxus could have always just forgone all of this. Mirajane was already back to showering him with (deserved) praise and doing anything extra was just gravy. Not to mention having to go spend time with the five (well four; he liked Freed) people he'd just spent an entire day lamenting.

And yet…

"Oh great," Lisanna muttered to Bickslow as they sat together up at the hall. She was very busy not working while he was very busy helping her do so. "Here comes Laxus."

"He's so obsessed with us, the boss is," the seith agreed as the man headed over. "Now we have to be all entertaining and shit."

"Or else he'll get depressed."

"It's a dirty business."

But by the time he was over to them, they were all grins and there was an, "Oi, boss," as well as an, "You're my neediest brother."

Then they were off to Evergreen's. She wasn't with Elfman though, thankfully, but rather as a knock came to her door, she and Freed were very busy on the other side, sharing tea and discussing what they hoped would be an upcoming string of jobs they would do together.

"Oh gosh," she sighed at the sound of knocking. She knew. She just knew. "They're never content, are they?"

"Who particularly are you referring to?" Freed asked as he got to his feet to answer the door.

"Literally all of them."

It was hard to argue.

They ran into Elfman, anyways, on the way, and he had no complaints either. Aloud. He and Ever were still terse with one another though, but he and Freed had made up and he was never rightly upset with Lisanna.

Bickslow was just Bickslow to him though. Always.

Laxus complained though, of course, because he always complained. Enough for all of them. He griped about Lisanna and Bickslow's goofing off at the liquor store. He grumbled about Elfman and Ever arguing while they looked for a new movie for the lacrima. And the late lunch they convinced him to treat them to was a disaster.

Once he got home, to begin prepping for his night in with his demon, he was glad to be rid of them. All of them. Ever mentioned going off on a long job with Freed, Bickslow and Lisanna had gotten tickets, it seemed, to see some far off band which they'd be taking a week or so off to do, and Elfman was prepping his solo jobs for the upcoming S-Class trials.

Laxus would be glad to be rid of the lot of them.

"You don't mean that, dragon," his woman informed him as he sat at the kitchen table that night, chopping some veggies for her while she was busy over by the stove. "You love them."

"Mira." He drew the line there. "I do not."

Only humming in response, she said, "Let's not talk about any of them again. For a bit."

"Forever."

"They're gonna take off, right? You said? And you're not. You're going to stay in town with me."

"It's the plan."

"Then let's focus only on us until then."

"Hmm," he agreed with a nod of his head. "I like that idea."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What do you wanna do? With so much time, just for us?"

"First I want you to quit your job."

"Well, that's out."

"Then I want you to never leave the house."

"This is getting a bit creepy now."

"No, wait, demon, it gets better."

"Better?"

"Or worse, I guess, depending on how you think about it."

"Then let me hear it."

Standing then, he took his plate of chopped vegetables over to the woman, slipping a free arm around her waist as he pulled her close. "Then I'm going to keep you locked up in the bedroom, all day, with me. Only let ya out to cook for me. What do you think of that?"

"It sounds kind of eerie and like I'm really in danger here."

"But here's the kicker," he added as, giving the plate to the woman, he wrapped his other arm around her then as he bowed his head, nuzzling it against her neck. "I'll be the one chained up."

"You're so stupid," she accused, but she was giggling and the elbow that got throw into his belly only made him laugh too.

And he'd knew part of him would hate that Freed and Ever were out on some grand adventure, and that even stupid Elfboy was getting a taste of it. Then he'd eventually no doubt have to go save Bickslow and Lisanna from themselves when they no doubt ran out of jewels and got stranded. But, in that moment, he couldn't wait for the next few days, if not weeks, spent with his demon in his arms and her cooking in her stomach.

It would sate the desire for adventure for a bit.

Thankfully for him, that was the only bit Mira ever asked for.


End file.
